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I’m gushing over someone, oops!

One of the scariest things about having a blog, what i think at least, is that the whole world (including people you know) might read whatever you write. That’s why till now I have talked little about my personal life. But today I’ll break the rule because I have a confession: I have a crush on someone (hush!). Yes people i like someone, and no I haven’t told him and not planning on doing that. Why? Well, mainly because my life is a mess and I don’t want it to get messier. What if he says “Girl, I’ve been waiting on you to say those words, because honestly i can’t get you out of my mind.” And i realize that guys don’t say such things and that this whole scenario will never take place in real life. But let’s assume that it happens, and then!! I don’t have time for this (or is it just an excuse that i make up??)

But deep down inside, I’m kinda afraid. Afraid of rejection. No I’ve never been rejected, but I have rejected people. And again, no I’m not arrogant and full of myself or whatever. It just that those people who were rejected by me, weren’t “the one”, i guess. It never felt right. I never wanted to get into something that would lead to nothing. So I just tell them to stay friends, which only adds insult to the injury :|. Anyway that’s my mentality and that’s how i think about relationships. But it has also made me fear rejection. What if I tell someone that I like him and he thinks that I’m not “the one”. I know that this sounds silly, but that’s how I’ve been spending life: rejecting and being afraid of getting rejected!

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